There are days I lack confidence. Today I was reading in Scripture and a small conviction came over me. I was reminded of how unqualified I am to be used by God. This happens quite often. Some might view this as a mode of warning, but I view it as an amazing validation.
You see, I grew up in the church. I had the good life going for me. I went to a private school. I had parents that loved God, and loved each other. I was successful in my endeavors such as sports, drama, even school to a certain extent. I have known stories upon stories upon stories in scripture through Bible class and Sunday school lessons. Then there was the other side of the equation. I was lukewarm. I was the guy that had all this “Jesus stuff” rubbing off on me. I started to coat-tail my faith. I used my position of involvement in school, or the church to qualify my relationship with Jesus. Then eventually, as all of you reading might already know, the sliding began. When I was a Junior in High School following Jesus became a motion and all of a sudden the next few years I could see myself going down a path that I never thought I would go down.
Now keep in mind, my path was not like many you hear of rebellion. There was never a moment I laid in a drunken stupor whispering utters of desires to change. I never dabbled with an addiction. I started just making really unwise decisions. I started to not protect what I watched, which led to unfortunate roads. I started to not measure what I said. I was flippant. I was not living a life that was noteworthy.
This all changed when I started to get serious about my relationship with Jesus again. Finally, it was mine. I wanted it, and I wanted to pursue it longer, further, and more than I had ever pursued it before. So I did. It was through that time that I learned of something I will never forget. You have heard the quote I am sure. “God does not call the equipped, He equips the called”. Not my quote, but I live by it. As a matter of fact, I cling to it.
I studied Psychology and Sociology in college. I learned so much about interacting with people and how those people interact with other people. Then I decided, after a long pushing from friends, family, and ultimately through prayer and discernment, that I should move into ministry. It is when I did this that I felt the beginnings of God’s power to humble a man starting to sink in.
Even to this day, as I look at life and all of the things I might have changed or done differently had I gotten to the place I am sooner, there is one resounding bead of hope within the fabric of the cosmos that keeps me striving ahead toward this role I have volunteered for. That bead of hope is that God can use a man like me.
Though my mom, and admittedly I, like to think I am, I am nothing special. There is nothing I have done to receive the gifting I believe God has given me. I did not attend a work shop on multiple occasions to understand youth and how to interact with them. I also have never fully engulfed all of the most Theological thought-provoking ideologies out there. All I have done is what God has done through me.
” There are days I lack confidence. Today I was reading in Scripture and a small conviction came over me. I was reminded of how unqualified I am to be used by God. This happens quite often. Some might view this as a mode of warning, but I view it as an amazing validation.” God is not looking for the most qualified people; He is looking for the most willing people. I can do that.
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Food for thought: I mentioned my lukewarmness earlier in this post. You feeling that way? Is it time to start actively pursuing something greater?
leadershape 