There is a key to mentoring the next generation. I have to say it simply. The key is not to be like the next generation, the key is to be consistent or constant for the next generation.
I have a friend. I will not use his name, so we will call him Brent. When I met Brent, there were a couple of things I saw in him. One of which was a man who was starving. I saw a man who would love to believe in something. I saw a man who was chasing masculinity in women. He and his relationship had ended, and he was at the lowest part of his life. It was here that I met him. I found him to be refreshing and inevitably, I had to act. I started to pour into this guy. I remember challenging him with the BIGGEST challenge I could think of at the time. I remember the reaction he gave me; he was not pleased with my challenge. The most important thing I recall in the steps leading up to getting him on a journey to come closer to Christ and his masculinity is that it had to be initiated by someone who knew the other side of the bridge this young man was staring at. This is where I would like to park for the remainder of this post.
He was not aware, by any means, that I was about to become his mentor (truthfully, neither did I). As I sit back and look on our experience and all of our tough conversations and strong-willed debates, I recall this thought very clearly. I recall that I made the move to pursue him, not the other way around. In chess, I initiated the game by moving my pawn first. This is where mentoring the next generation should start. You have to pick them out as a mentor. The mentoring game is kind of like chess. There will be giving and taking, but the goal is not to defeat anyone, it is simply to make them think through the moves they are making. I am a huge subscriber to the fact that you need to be selective with who you mentor and share your time with. I am a huge subscriber that it should be done in small doses. If you have a heart to mentor, you should pick 2 or 3 young people to mentor. Maybe it is best to have them all in different stages of the mentorship.
I personally only mentor young men that I notice have a desire for Christ but cannot seem to find Him or themselves. This is not the only way to mentor, but this is something that I understand very well with my most recent past. First thing is first, you have to pick who you mentor. I subscribe to a few principles in mentoring that are not my own. The first is to be selective. You need to be going deep rather than wide. It is not important to mentor as many people as you can. I think the impact is far greater if you can impact a few people around you and in turn, let them do the same. I think about a wave that a bunch of pebbles makes in still lake. Sure you get a ripple, but it is not an impacting ripple. When you throw something with more weight to it, you have a chance to create a wave. This is what I shoot for.
Go long rather than wide. You need to be in it for the long haul. If you find yourself not engaged, do what you can to help get that individual in touch with someone who is engaged. Mentoring of young men is best done in small doses. You have the mentoring desire, you already know it is going to be difficult not want to do it for everyone, but you cannot get caught up in the whole “well if I cannot do it for everyone, I will not do it for anyone” mentality. Mentoring is best done in small doses. Andy Stanley, whom I have linked many times in my blogs has a saying, do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. This is a great mindset to have when talking about mentoring.
More on mentoring to come very soon. I will be using examples from Brent and my journey together and separate.
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Food for thought: The most important aspect at getting started with mentoring is to make sure you can be a constant in a life that is constantly changing. I want to stress, you being CONSTANT is vital to the mentorship process. If you cannot be, you should not be mentoring that particular individual. There are days you will not be able to take that call, or write back to that email, but constant mentors are not always vocal mentors. Who is that young person you have your eye on to mentor? Is it not about time you got involved in their life?
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