Half of a Whole Still Equals 1?

Is it not crazy how you can go through life being half, thinking you were whole? I remember the day I met her. There was not much going on. We did not hit it off or anything, but we did complete each other without knowing. We ended up meeting for lunch, which turned into a dinner, which actually turned into talking all night while she drank coffee and I refused because I do not like it. I remember falling in love and being completely consumed by her. Infatuated, oh no, we are talking about something far, far greater. I remember this feeling or thought that went something like this, “What have I done without you in my life all of these years?”

Is that not crazy! If you are reading this and are married, or in love, I am sure you can relate. One day, we are sitting there as if nothing in the world can get better, and BOOM significant person jumps into our world and we start to understand maybe we were not so okay with the half that we were. I have referenced in a past blog about the day that things went a little south with this woman I was madly in love with. I remember the fog. I remember asking myself, “how does a whole, become half again?”

Let me level with you. It is not like we finish each others sentences and do all of those kinds of things that you see in all of the movies and what not. We do not actually currently get to spend that much time together. We have become whole in our spirits though. We have searched and sprinted after God in everything we have done together. In all of our adventures that make no sense. In all of our random debates and talks, we have one mindset and that is to pursue Jesus by renewing our minds.

I like to compare my physical world to my spiritual world often. I often wonder if God, being who He is in all of his majesty and glory, gets to that point that I am talking about; feeling whole. I know God does not need little old Brent Ferris to exist, as a matter of fact it is most definitely the other way around. I just wonder if there is that feeling. When I am so tuned into God through my spirit, I wonder if he has that feeling. I know we were created relationally. God created us to have relationships with everything around us. Relationships with creation, with each other, and most importantly with Him. When I treat God as if I am in a relationship with him I cannot tell you how amazing that feeling is.

All of this to say, I wonder if the days I turn my back slightly, or I fail or let him down, if it hurts him like it hurt me when I was forced to ask how does whole become half again? I know God loves us more than anything, and as majestic, and beautiful, and glorified, and worthy as he is, I have to think of Him as a father. Father’s have feelings just like me. This is just a thought and it probably does not make any sense. I guess all in all, it is crazy how quickly we can be in love. I love being in love with Jesus in the way I was in love with her. Even in my rough spots, she stays close to me.

I understand why David so often would say things like the Lord is my fortress, my deliverer, my strength, my God, in whom I trust. He is my love, he touches my face gently and rises me up on wings like eagles.

God, You are all that I need. I thank you for the blessings you have given me.